What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
