Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
