he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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