My brain says no but my pants say off.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
