Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
You can't motorboat a personality
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
