it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
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