I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
