Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
last night I used snow as a chaser
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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