So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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