I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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