adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
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