There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
