i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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