Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
