4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
