Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
