Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
