Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
