She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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