yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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