remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
