take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It was like getting head from an anaconda
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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