Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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