I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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