Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize
