Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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