Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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