i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
