First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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