i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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