We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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