sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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