billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
