About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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