I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I want her autograph on my taint
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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