I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
