I love black thongs
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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