I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
