You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
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