cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
