After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
