Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
