I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
