it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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