It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
