Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
