I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize