How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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