When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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