You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
