I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
