I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
